Rookie mistakes are allowed, okay.

It has started again.
The anxiety kicks in.

I feel low, no energy, it was hard for me to focus on studying.
I don't feel like going out. But I did anyway.
I had a good time, but when I came back.. I feel weird again.

I feel like there'a a lump in my chest.
It's hard to breathe on days like this.
And trying to smile to make it go away doesnt work either.
(I ended up crying for no particular reason)

I think what I needed was a full hx taken by a doctor, full examination, and investigations done on me... and I pray and pray again that all this is because I'm low on some vitamins, or I'm anemic or just dehydrated. So I can brush it off as an illness that will settle with downing some pills and water.

At times like this,
I feel like calling someone.
and just talk.

At times like this,
I feel like running in the cold,
and just sweat it off.

At times like this,
I feel lonelier than ever.

But we're all living this life for the first time.

We all have issues that we find it hard to convey to other people,
there is no verbal form to explain
what is lingering in my head and bothering my heart.
and that's okay. :)

At times like this,
I feel like making a lot of dua
and just talk to Allah
will suffice.

O Allah , the Creator of the Heaven and the Earth,

You have created me in the best forms,

You know what's in my heart 

more than other people or even myself.

Untie the knots in my heart.

Lift the weight on my shoulder.

Ease the pain that I have.

For only You can cure it all. 


Forever a rookie,
- T