Delayed grief.

I have no words to explain how I feel at the moment.

I feel empty inside, yet I know I cannot feel this way.

I want to just cry.. and pour all my feelings.

But I feel numb instead.

This is not happening , right?

I can't focus on my revision.

Since yesterday, when  I found out Atuk has passed away,

I locked myself in my room, I sleep a lot.. I refuse to wake up.

I know this is not how things should be.

I don't want to remind myself of the price of a dream.

I shouldn't be too hard on myself just because I chose this path when I was 18. 

"A strong muslim  can accept what's written by Allah."

So I pray and pray to Allah.

Don't let my sorrow drowns me.

Lend me some strength to rise above my troubled heart.

Give me a peace of mind so I can rationalize and prioritize.

"The stakes are high, the water's rough - but this fight is ours" 

P/s: Thanks to my friends for their warm wishes and dua.. I really appreciate it :) 

May Allah ease your affair too.